Funny Joke # 29

A Few Pick-Up Lines

1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
Can I borrow a quarter? [”What for?”] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.

2. Is your daddy a thief? [”No.”] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Watch for those yes answers]

3. You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

4. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

5. Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyways.

6. The word of the day is “legs”. Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.

7. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

8. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

9. My name’s [your name]. That’s just so you know what to scream.

10. My name’s [your name], but you can call me “lover”.

11. Nice shoes. Wanna have sex??

12. Can I flirt with you?

13. Your daddy must have been a baker, ’cause you’ve got a nice set of buns.

14. [Look at her/her shirt label. When they say, “What are you doing?”:] Checking to see if you were made in heaven. OR: Checking to see if you’re the right size.

15. All those curves, and me with no brakes.

16. If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? or…(my favorite)…. , would you hold me against it?

17. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

18. [Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

19. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

20. Can I have directions? [”To where?”] To your heart. [Cheese alert!]

21. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

22. How about you sit on my lap and we’ll see what pops up? OR: Why don’t you sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up.

23. Do you know what looks good on you? Me.

24. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

25. So.. How am I doin’?

26. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?

27. [Tap your thigh.] You just think this is my leg.
Is this your broom, you know the one you used to sweep me off my feet.

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Funny Jokes

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» A Football Player in a Church

» A Few Pick-Up Lines

» Entrance Exam for Football Players

» Great Golf Ball

» God says: “In a second”

» A Blonde with Chickens

» A Blonde Painting the House

» Lucky Dog Shagging

» Blonde Puzzle

» A blonde and a brunette in an elevator.

» Computer lyrics to Beatles Songs

» Macintosh Abbreviation

» Blonde vs Brunette

» A Blonde Riding a Horse

» Nigga Jokes Set

» Advantages of Breast Milk

» 24 Hours

» The Sperm Sample

» $200 Bucks It Is

» America vs Russia

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